Originally published at Dope Magazine
BY SHWA LAYTART - APRIL 9, 2018
There are many inventions we modern day Earthlings don’t give their due credit, and many of those things come from Mesopotamia—the Cradle of Civilization.
Well, salad dressing happens to be one of those items. Sit right back and let’s take your ancient alien ass to around 3500 BCE.
Some have said that the first salad dressing came from Babylon, created by the sixth ruler of the dynasty, Hammurabi. This is not true, however. Hammurabi did create the Code of Hammurabi, which was a set of laws that ensured citizens weren’t taken advantage of by other people or businesses, i.e., that no one peed in your salad dressing. But he wasn’t the one who created the dressing itself.
No, salad dressing was created before that, by the Goddess Inanna, when she was a young lady. Young and in love. A chef by the name of Nuru Bashalu was at the Goddess’ service, but the lovely Inanna was always sewing her oats, running off to be in love and to be loved. Nuru had one of the hardest jobs in the land—keeping Inanna fed! She was known to make love for days without eating.
It was said that, from time to time, she would literally float up into the sky.
This floaty feeling has been passed down in our DNA, and now, when we haven’t had enough to eat, we all get that spacy, light-headed feeling, like we are going to float away.
One of the Goddess’ favorite meals was a salad. So, to get Inanna to eat more salad, Nuru created a sauce, or what Nuru would eventually call dressing; Nuru would have to force Inanna to eat while she was dressing to go out for that evening’s love adventure.
Inanna loved dates, pomegranate seeds and chickpeas in her salad of cress, mustard and lettuce, but her favorite was a simple infused herbal vinegar and oil dressing.
Now, like many chefs, Nuru didn’t make nearly enough clay tokens to pay the bills. And, like many chefs, he had to have a side gig. Nuru had a love for herbs, and one of his all-time favorite herbs was cannabis—he was known up and down the river for having the kush of the crop. He was also known to add cannabis to his dishes, creating the first edibles. Some have said it was this special sauce, or salad dressing, that caused Inanna to float away…
Although the exact recipe has been a matter of debate, through my sources I’ve located the recipe from a Sumerian cookbook said to be penned by Nuru Bashalu, translated by the late, great Zecharia Sitchin, author known for his ancient astronaut theories.
The Original Goddess Dressing Recipe
10-15 large basil leaves, finely chopped
1 cup parsley, finely chopped
Half an onion, finely chopped
2-3 medium garlic cloves, chunky chopped (around 2-3 tbsp)
2 tbsp honey and 2 tbsp infused oil
1/3 tbsp black pepper
1/3 tbsp caraway seeds, crushed
½ tbsp dill
1 tbsp thyme
1 tbsp salt
¼ cup olive oil
¼ cup red wine vinegar
¼ cup veggie broth (optional—can increase olive oil to ¾ cup instead).
Set aside the infused oil and add veggie broth, red wine vinegar and all ingredients into a food processor. While blending, drizzle in the infused oil from the top spout of the processor. Once all the oil is in, you are set to get dressing. You can also mix everything by hand or put into a mason jar and shake like a mofo.
